There’s No Such Thing as a Stay At Home Mom

stay at home mom

You heard (read) me right. There’s no such thing as a stay at home mom. When all is said and done, a mother or any woman is not defined simply by what she spends her time doing. If she is, then that is a pretty narrow definition and if you stop doing that thing, what are you? Does the essence of who you are change if you switch careers or if someone who stays home gets a part time job? Of course not! I’m not saying that these labels don’t matter, but they are much less important than society would like us to think. Two things matter when defining who you are and how you fill your time.

First, are you happy doing what you are doing? Are you achieving your goals and living intentionally and with purpose? I have had several conversations with friends recently in which they said the familiar phrase, “I just couldn’t be a stay at home mom. I’m not cut out for it.” Or, “I would just be so bored if I stayed home all day.” Perhaps true, perhaps not. I’m not trying to compare whether or not ‘stay at home moms’ or ‘work outside the home moms’ work harder or are more busy than each other. Far from it. As women and mothers, we owe it to ourselves to do meaningful work and achieve our goals. To spend our time doing what satisfies us. These things can be found with work both in and out of the home. And so can the meaningless dribble that so many people spend their time doing. 

If you are not happy with how you spend each day, then change it! I am living a unique blend of working and staying at home. I am a church music director and singer, which keeps me busy on Sundays and during the week I homeschool my kids, blog and teach music lessons. In the summer I train swimming instructors for the American Red Cross. I do many things and I love them all. I firmly believe you should spend your time doing something you love.

The second thing that truly matters is balance. If you work, then finding balance to spend time with your family. If you stay home, then finding balance between domestic responsibilities and doing things you love (sometimes these overlap). I know the happiest moms I have met are the ones who have the most balance in their lives. If you don’t have balance, you will not be happy. Not longterm. And it is important to be happy to do everything else well. Your children need a happy momma to care for them. Your work will be more successful and fulfilling if you are happy when doing it.

Don’t settle. Don’t settle for days that bring you no joy. If you are settling right now, make the decision not to. The label you have of “stay at home mom” or “working mom” does NOT define you. Don’t let it. There is no such thing as a stay at home mom. There is no such thing as a working mom. There are women and mothers who live balanced, happy, productive lives and those who do not.



There's no such thing as a stay at home momPhoto’s courtesy of marin and Ambro via


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