Children learn how to love from their mommy…
…and their daddy and any other full-time caregiver. This is NOT to downplay the role of dads or other involved adults. But since full time mommy is one of the many hats I wear, this is a reminder to myself that my children learn first and foremost by my example.
When children are young, their mommy is their whole world. Their whole idea of love and self-worth comes from mom. They learn how to deal with conflict and interact with others by watching us. They model their relationships on ours. So, not only is it important for us to maintain a good relationship with our children, but we must also model good and healthy relationships and relational behaviors!
When interacting with your child, have you ever stopped to ask yourself, “How would I feel if the person I love most in the world treated me like that?”
That questions stops me cold and humbles me at my very core. How many times in the last day or two have I snapped or yelled at my kids? How many times have I made them wait while I finished something “more important”. Overall, I consider myself a pretty decent mom. I strive to be patient and gentle. To be loving and graceful. But sometimes THEY MAKE ME CRAZY. And I snap. At them.
Now, being the sensitive creature I am, I know that if my spouse snapped at me that way, I would be quite hurt. Or if my spouse ignored me or put me off because he was “busy” I would probably get mad. And yet how often do I do this to my children? More often than I want to admit. Not only do we set a bad example, but this breaks the connection we need with our children that motivates them to want to please us and behave well.
Sure, nobody is perfect. But that doesn’t change that we have to try. I trull believe that children learn how to love from their mommy. Before they even know what love is, they are absorbing everything about her and her interactions with them.
So, each day I start fresh. I try once again to always treat these precious little people with dignity and respect. Like I want to be treated by those that love me. I try not to yell. I try not to ignore. I try not to snap. I’m not perfect. I will mess up. And when I do, I will apologize and give them the opportunity to forgive me.
How I treat my children and their father is how they will someday treat their spouses.
So, not only will I endeavor to treat my children lovingly, but I will try to model love in my interactions with their father. I will let them see how much I love him. And we together will model good conflict resolution. Where else will they learn this? If I don’t get anything else right in life, I hope and pray that I get this right. Because children learn how to love from their mommy.
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DISCLAIMER: I am not a doctor and the statements on this blog have not been evaluated by the FDA. Any products or techniques mentioned are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. I am just a mom who shares what works for me!