You might be CRUNCHY if…
The following list was composed by my readers and blogging buddies. Give yourself 1 point for each item that applies to you and total your score at the bottom.
This list proved to me both that I am not the only weird one out there AND that some people are way crunchier than me. Proceed at your own risk… there is some crazy stuff on this list!
You might be CRUNCHY if…
- You refuse to eat the homemade, organic, locally sourced granola in the glass jar because it has a PLASTIC LID.
- You’ve given up tampons.
- You are constantly making changes and reading articles about food.
- You’ve given birth in a bath tub… on purpose.
- Your “medicine cabinet” is full of EOs and herbs.
- You know what family cloth is.
- You’ve tried No Poo.
- You make your own deodorant, toothpaste, body butter or shampoo.
- You make any DIY body care products
- You take yard eggs and raw milk with you when you go on vacation.
- When people give you birthday gifts, they wrap them in reusable shopping bags.
- They just give you reusable bags.
- You drink that kombucha that you left a little too long and is a little too strong because, darn it, you put the effort into making it.
- When someone is bleeding you run to the spice cabinet for cayenne or turmeric.
- When you constantly look at plants wherever you are to see what jewel could be harvested.
- You won’t put anything on your body you wouldn’t eat.
- You squirt breast milk in your kids eye to clean an eye infection.
- You know what tandem nursing is.
- Your bathroom shelves are full of kitchen ingredients (bonus if you know what oil cleansing is!!!).
- You voluntarily put solid, gunky coconut oil in your mouth and swish for 20 minutes every morning while using hand gestures to communicate with your family as to WHY you can’t talk (yet, they CONTINUE to engage in conversation with you – every single day).
- You use patchouli or other essential oils instead of perfume.
- Your two year old asks for a “towel” when things get messy at meal time, because he has no idea what a paper towel is.
- You have cabinets devoted to mason jars.
- You aren’t afraid of your raw milk going bad, because you have a list of things to do with it.
- Your pantry has no boxes, just jars, bags and bins of ingredients.
- Your answer to every ailment is coconut oil, breastmilk, garlic or apple cider vinegar.
- When conversation slows down at a dinner party, you show off your latest ferments and tell people what a scoby is (whether they asked or not).
- Your most recent online purchase included any of the following: kefir grains, bentonite clay, tumeric root, beeswax pellets, yogurt starter, cheese making kits, coconut oil, grass-fed gelatin or sea salt.
- You brush your dogs teeth with coconut oil, and give them bone broth with their grass-fed beef raw food.
- Friends and family call you witch doctor, forest fairy, tree hugger, shaman, Dr Jones, and texts you pictures of chicken feet (crunchy porn?). Even your doctor says you’ve earned an honorary MD.
- You tell your child “No fermented cod liver oil until you finish your dinner!”
- You eat and use coconut oil at EVERY opportunity.
- Your kids not only regularly and loudly judge other people’s grocery choices (one of the challenges of raising healthy kids).
- Your kids are always screaming at you for either raw milk, water kefir, or kombucha and every single bath of theirs they request Epsom salts, Bentonite or a combo of both.
- Your counters look a little like a science lab because of all the things you are fermenting.
- You know how to properly prepare your grains (if you even eat grains at all).
- You know your local farmer or are part of a co-op.
- You are a ingredient list detective.
- You compost, garden or own any farm animals.
- You use cloth diapers. Or you would use cloth diapers if you had kids.
- You know the definitions grass-fed, free range, pastured, organic and cage free.
- You are so over anything fat free.
- You have rendered lard.
- You know what soap nuts are and how to use them.
- Your favorite snacks contain either grass fed gelatin or coconut oil.
- You know how to make bone broth or stock and have done it recently.
- You have ever asked the butcher or farmer for “spare parts”.
- Your kids recognize obscure vegetables (but grocery store clerks don’t).
- You know who Weston A Price is.
- You debate yourself before every birthday party whether to make your guests the food your usually eat.
If you scored:
0 – 5 …you are pretty mainstream. Normal. Not much crunch.
6 – 20 …you dabble in crunchiness. You have gotten your toes wet. But a lot of the things on that list still kind of freak you out. But make you curious at the same time. Be careful, it’s easy to get sucked in!
20 – 40 …you are pretty crunchy. People around you have probably started to notice, even if you don’t know it yet. You may even feel relieved that you didn’t fall into the highest score category (there was some crazy on that list you wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole), but don’t be fooled. Crunchiness is like a disease and is only likely to increase. I’m sorry to say, it’s coming for you.
40 or above! WOW! You might be crunchier than me! You spend a lot of your time and energy making conscious choices about what you eat, have in your home and put on your body! That’s amazing! Be careful of scaring people off or judging their lifestyle choices. Not everyone can be as awesome as you. Not even your spouse (check out my post on un-crunchy husbands). Cheers (raises glass of raw milk… or local, GMO free craft beer… or organic wine)!
Tell me in the comments what your score was or which # you related to the most!
If you enjoyed this quiz, come take the You might have crunchy kids if… quiz and see how crunchy your kids are. I have to admit, my kids got a much lower score than I expected!
I will also post the scores of my crunchy blogger friends here at the end of the post so you can see which bloggers match your score and check them out!
MY score Kirsten of Cheerfully Imperfect was 43. Wowsers.
Kristen Ethridge – Author & Real Time Mama scored 40!!!
Caretactics got a 23, but claims her score would be higher if she had kids.
Like a Normal Person scored 28, and also says it would be higher with kids.
Good Girl Gone Green scored 45 and she doesn’t even drink milk or eat meat!!!
Mix Wellness scored a whopping 40. Oh my.
Thrive Style scored 25, but when she has her baby she promises it will go up.
Oh Lardy got a score of 29. It’s those amazing backyard chickens!
Coco’s Well scored 35. Not bad, crunchy, but not crazy!
Naturally Persnickety Mom surprised herself and scored a 39!
If taking this quiz inspired you to get even crunchier, check out my marketplace for the best places to buy crunchy essentials like quality coconut oil, epsom salts, fermentation starters, soap nuts and fermented cod liver oil!
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DISCLAIMER: I am not a doctor and the statements on this blog have not been evaluated by the FDA. Any products or techniques mentioned are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. I am just a mom who shares what works for me!
January 30, 2014 @ 4:29 pm
My score was 22. There were a lot that I would like to have answered “yes” but I haven’t gotten around to them, or it’s almost impossible to find around here (raw milk, pastured eggs), etc. Also, I wouldn’t get store bought granola but for different reasons: like ingredient control, and price.
January 30, 2014 @ 4:35 pm
@Rebekah, 22 is still pretty crunchy! Although raw milk and pastured eggs might not be as hard to find as you think… Have you checked out the Real Milk Finder? http://www.realmilk.com/real-milk-finder/
April 15, 2014 @ 8:40 pm
Thank you for sharing the raw milk finder website. I have looked on eat wild and that list didn’t have the ones milk finder has. It IS a lot closer than I thought! Oh, my raw milk! It’s more than just a dream now!! *Is so excited*
April 15, 2014 @ 8:49 pm
So glad I could help!!! Enjoy your raw milk!
January 30, 2014 @ 5:00 pm
I scored a 32! I laughed so hard at the kids in the grocery store question. I’m so glad it isn’t just my kid that does that. We had to have a few talks about other people and their food choices. I think my score would have been higher too but my husband is really reserved about my choices… To put it nicely. And there are only so many hours in the day. Oh, I wouldn’t buy granola for a different reason as well… I make my own.(often) Like Rebekah said above its about ingredients and price and also its just too much fun to diy what I can. I had so much fun taking the quiz and reading the other articles here. Glad I found you!
January 30, 2014 @ 6:30 pm
Emily, thanks for taking the quiz! My husband is pretty reserved about some of my crunchier choices too, lol! Did you see my post about “You can’t make your husband crunchy”?
January 30, 2014 @ 6:44 pm
37/50! I don’t trust ANY dentist who has never heard of Weston A Price! I mean really?! He founded the ADA!!
January 30, 2014 @ 7:37 pm
42! Whoot! And here I was thinking I was still new at this whole crunchy thing! 🙂
January 31, 2014 @ 4:22 am
Nice! I’d say you are more than a newbie!
January 31, 2014 @ 4:16 pm
I’m shocked. I didn’t think I was that crunchy. Closet crunch? hehe I scored a 41. Question #33 has been very interesting. I take pride in it but the looks on people’s faces is priceless. LOL
January 31, 2014 @ 5:10 pm
I think a lot of people are surprised at their own crunchiness, lol!
February 1, 2014 @ 4:33 am
I got a 44 and still see a ton of room for improvement in our lives.
February 1, 2014 @ 7:46 am
33 , I am struggling with fermenting nowadays….and I can’t access raw milk where I live (in UK).
February 1, 2014 @ 2:38 pm
Have you tried fermenting veggies? All you need for that is sea salt and veggies. Sauerkraut is a really easy one to start with!
February 3, 2014 @ 9:39 pm
I received a 43… Probably because my husband is on board and encourages my crunchiness. Lol.
February 3, 2014 @ 9:46 pm
Lucky to have a supportive husband! Thats awesome!
February 4, 2014 @ 11:52 am
I love it!!!
I got 24/40, but I had to substitute “Siblings” where it says “Children/Kids”
#13 was awesome!
I have some friends that make their own Kombucha who often let it sit a few weeks too long, so when I visit their house I often wind up drinking a quart to a half gallon of *ripe* kombucha (no, not all at once – over the course of a few hours). I would make my own kombucha that strong, but it is gone long before it’s ready. My brother and I can easily finish off a gallon of kombucha in a day, whether or not it’s ready – no problem.
I think that numbers 2, 3, 4, 17 and 18 are a little unfair to us guys… just sayin’ 😛
February 4, 2014 @ 2:01 pm
Sorry, Nick! You are correct that the quiz leans in favor of the ladies… but that is probably because it was composed by my readers and blogger friends, many of which are women. Thanks for taking the quiz!
February 4, 2014 @ 4:12 pm
I got a 1. I’m the guy your kids are judging at the grocery store.
February 6, 2014 @ 5:21 am
One??? Which one?
February 24, 2014 @ 6:01 pm
I got a 7. Don’t feel to bad. I used to be way more crunchy. As the kiddos have gotten older and both husband and I work full time, crunchiness is something I could not care less about.
And honestly even when I was crunchy, I would have found number 33 embarrassingly rude. For a parent to teach that it is okay to judge others show’s a great lack of integrity. So you are not alone!
And believe me you’re talking to someone who did the family bed until the children were three. I nursed until my youngest self weaned at 3. I did cloth diapering, soap nuts, made a bunch of homemade stuff. Even used those sea sponges for feminine needs 😉
There is nothing wrong with not doing those things, and there is nothing wrong with being crunchy [as long as neither are so judgmental about it that they think they have the only right way.
February 24, 2014 @ 6:42 pm
#33 is truly embarrassing when kids do that. I definitely do not teach my children to do that (and discourage it when they do), but after taking them shopping and repeatedly explaining to them why we are not getting various processed foods, then they see those things in other people’s baskets, they sometimes are curious (without volume control or a filter) about it. But this is a good teaching opportunity for me to remind them about talking about other people in general, which isn’t polite.
February 6, 2014 @ 9:42 pm
Didn’t know there was a term for this particular kind of “craziness”! Crunchy I like it. Great article! My husband says we need a bigger house to make room for all my experiments! Scored a 25.
Nettie
February 6, 2014 @ 10:37 pm
Congrats! Thats a good score!
February 7, 2014 @ 7:17 pm
Interesting….I got a 42. Would have been more, but I dont take vacations due to LIVING a vacation and Im a little bit lazy now days with my ferments. In other areas however Ive moved beyond a few of the things on the list too 😉
OTHER
51) ….if you took this whole list, categorized each item and had others to add; finally coming to see this isnt a competition, but a life-long pursuit of economy & health.
52) ….if you schedule your life (& menu plans) around hunting & fishing seasons
53) ….if your grocery budget includes sub-categories of livestock feed, as well as gun oil & ammunition.
54) ….if when you find ammunition available at all, you re-do the budget to buy as much as you are allowed due to rationing.
FOOD PRODUCTION
55) ….if you affectionately refer to a package of tenderloin by the name of the animal that it came from.
56) ….if dinner is commonly referred to as Roast BEAST & Root Veggies
57) ….if you have several special cabinets just for the VitaMix, the Cuisinart Food Processor, the Kitchen Aid mixer (w/ meat grinder attachment), the Colloidal Silver maker, the Berkey Water Filter, the Veggie Spiralizer, the Excalibur Dehydrator & the Harsch Fermenting Crocks.
CHILDREN & PETS
58) ….if your young adult children (ages 14-18) get up extra early to go squirrel or rabbit hunting before returning to do farm chores, THEN eat breakfast and then start homeschool assignments
59) ….if your 15yr old daughter can field dress a 5pt buck with a pocket knife.
60) ….if you stalk the grocery store produce manager to get all the discarded produce to take home to your pigs & chickens
HEALTH & SANITATION
61) ….if you prefer a Cranio-sacral Therapist, a Bio-Dentist and Colonic & Hyperbaric O2 treatments over an MD or a conventional dentist.
62) ….if you can do stitches on a split finger all by yourself and you have a very large tackle box for emergency first aid supplies.
63) ….if you bottle your own unchlorinated well water for emergency use, vs storing empty mason jars.
64) ….if you do annual an FAMILY DRILL to prove that you can live “off the grid” for 7-10 days and be absolutely no worse for the wear….with the possible exception of having to replace quite a few beeswax candles. I can do this if you dont count my internet addiction – lol.
February 7, 2014 @ 8:29 pm
Lol! You definitely have the rest of us beat! I love your additions, but you are probably correct that you are above and beyond the average reader. I am a little jealous! Sounds pretty amazing! My husband grew up much like war you are describing, in Northern Canada and remembers it quite fondly!
February 7, 2014 @ 8:44 pm
Just takes time. I was a city girl until age 41 (children were 21, 12, 9, 7, 6 & 3).
Now Im 54 (children are 34, 25, 22, 20, 19 & 15….gbabies are 3 & 4).
Thirteen years makes a HUGE difference.
February 9, 2014 @ 9:05 pm
32. It probably would be higher but I can’t drink dairy so no raw milk for me, and my kids are grown so my husband and I are empty nesters!
February 10, 2014 @ 4:40 am
Well, that’s still a pretty awesome score. My readers and friends helped design the questions, so I guess I must have a lot of readers with kids…. kind of tilted the quiz, lol!
February 10, 2014 @ 1:35 am
I was surprise still scored 41 as I feel I’ve been slacking for various reasons. For years I milked Nubians and made all our cheese, yogurt and joked will drink no milk over 24 hours old only fit for cooking. In my 20’s I ground my own wheat, belonged to a food coop and in those days was consider a hippie.
Fast forward several decades back grinding my own wheat, can’t remember the last boxed item I bought, my one farmer gave me a pastured turkey and lard as a Holiday gift. Were empty nest now and recently our daughter asked for some Mason jars and I set her up from half pints to half gallon. I have a rack for my 5 gallon buckets of staples in my kitchen corner, or the food production area as I call it. My hubby works with me more now and is game for any new change I feel we need to try. He can see the difference between us and others our age still eating SAD. We made chicken stock this weekend for the freezer, crock pot granola and got a few more herbs started. Crunchy life is good!
February 10, 2014 @ 4:39 am
You sound amazingly self-sufficient and awesome!
February 10, 2014 @ 3:54 pm
haha!!! I scored over 40 but I’m afraid all that calls me at 55 is OLD!!!! Or Older and wiser!!! I’ve always lived naturally and as close to nature as possible…and in my day that was a Hippy! I actually had to look the term “Crunchy” up the other day cause….I had NO idea what it meant!!! I actually think this younger generation thinks they thought this stuff up all by themselves!!! 😉 Hate to tell ya, my generation of Baby Boomers are the ones who revolted against the status quo! Not that I’m an actual “hippy”….but I do love the soil and I love farming and eating fresh veggies from the garden.
If I could share one thing I’ve learned…it’s not about ferments, tampons or raw milk (which I turned out to be IgE allergic so we sold the cow) but enjoy life….it goes by very quickly. Live, Love and Laugh!
February 10, 2014 @ 5:14 pm
Thank you! I learned most of my crunchy habits from my mom, but it wasn’t called crunchy! It was frugal and natural and normal. 🙂
Friday Happy Hour #74 - Oh Lardy!
February 24, 2014 @ 10:23 pm
[…] Grab a glass of your favorite beverage and check out what Tamara and Kelly have found interesting this week in the blogosphere!Ever wondered if you’re truly “crunchy”? Here is a test to measure your “crunchiness”. […]
May 11, 2014 @ 10:25 pm
42 baby!!!!!
May 12, 2014 @ 12:46 am
awesome!!!!
August 18, 2015 @ 11:58 pm
I scored a 22. And I gave an addition: 41. You germinate, grow, and juice your own wheatgrass. ?
Friday Happy Hour #74 - Oh Lardy
November 14, 2016 @ 3:41 am
[…] Grab a glass of your favorite beverage and check out what Tamara and Kelly have found interesting this week in the blogosphere!Ever wondered if you’re truly “crunchy”? Here is a test to measure your “crunchiness”. […]
All Your Poop Are Belong to Me - This Patchwork Life
January 15, 2017 @ 3:09 am
[…] With all this talk about poop, I feel that I should mention that there are some who compost their own waste for use in the garden. This is often referred to as humanure (human manure), and it’s not something Kelly and I are interested in doing. We may someday be interested in a composting outhouse for use while out tending to plants and animals, but we would never be comfortable using the end product on our garden. I suppose you could say that we’re on the hippie spectrum, but not quite that crunchy. […]
June 25, 2019 @ 3:26 pm
Have you ever written about crunchiness and class/race privilege?
August 23, 2019 @ 3:12 pm
I haven’t, but that’s a super interesting topic. I was raised in near poverty and my mom was “crunchy” before there was a word for it. It was simply because making things homemade and from scratch was often less expensive. However, my observation as an adult is that many people are “crunchy” because it’s trendy and you do see a movement towards that more in affluent circles. If you ever write or read something about this, pass it my way!